Friday, November 25, 2005

Random Stuff

Latest joke in town: Iraqi president, Jalal Talabani, changed the National Iraqi emblem from an eagle to a sheep because of Bird Flu.

Election joke: If you want Mallawi (rattling golden bracelets) for your wife, elect Allawi. If you want your salary to return to Tlath talaf (3 thousand Dinars), elect the I'tilaf (United Iraqi Alliance).

I think it sounds funnier in Arabic because it ryhmes. Here it is in Arabic:
إذا تريد لزوجتك ملاوي أنتخب علاوي, إذا تريد راتبك تلاث آلاف أنتخب الأئتلاف

There are plenty more election jokes that were sent to me by SMS the last few days but I forgot them. I'll post them if I get around it again.

Latest rumor in town: Well it's not exactly a rumor since many have seen it already on the streets. Some people have been offering money for "contractors" who promise to "clean" a particular neighborhood in Baghdad from a certain political party's election posters. Some are payed 25,000 Dinars a day until they rid the area of said party's electoral campaign posters.

The lists which seem to have suffered most from this new Iraqi democratic practice are Allawi's list, the Sunni Accord (Tawafuq) list, and Saleh al Mutlag's list (I don't know what it's called).

Poor guys have hundreds of their posters torn off in my area alone. Allawi's posters either have devil horns drawn on his head or an X on his face.

Now try to guess who could be behind this:
  • Badr
  • Iran
  • Peshmerga
  • Americans
  • Jews
  • Israelis

Take your pick.

Another funny story: Yesterday, Abd al Aziz al Hakim was talking on one of the Shi'i tv stations (Yes, we have seperate channels now, Sunni ones, Kurdish and Shia) about his electoral list. They got the 555 number for their list which I think is chosen by a draw or something like that. The guy was saying this is proof from the sky that their list is blessed by Allah since the three 5's denotes the 5 basic tenets of Islam, the 5 daily prayers, and the Ahl al Kisaa' (Muhammed, Ali, Fatima, Hassan and Hussein. 5 people in total).

Hehehe, now what kind of bullshi'ite is that. He still thinks he can fool people.

By the way, people are already joking about the 555 reference. It has MUCH dirtier connotations than what Hakim is claiming. Iraqis are calling the UIA the Sa'di al Hilli list, which is a long story I'm not sure I can explain easily to non Iraqis.

Now, Sa'di al Hilli was an Iraqi singer who died some time ago. He was famous for being attracted to guys (to fuck them, not the other way around), although he never admitted that in public. But it's kind of common knowledge and as we say here, no smoke without a fire. There was never an interview he had in which the interviewer didn't poke fun at him about it. As to the number 5 (Khamsa), it's often used to describe a.., um, well.., an anus. That's because 5 looks like (o) in Arabic.. hehe I guess you get the resemblance. There are plenty of jokes about Sa'di with the number 5 involved (like his car registration number is 55555; his electoral list number last year was 555; he joined the resistance and created a group called Jaish Ansar al Khamsa; etc.) So there you have it.


Anonymous kilr0y said...

THERE's a clue to our cultural differences;
" (to fuck them, not the other way around)"
The fact that you would draw a distinction between the two would amaze (apall, anger, animate, antagonize) most american readers...
But i know we will only have to suffer a few years of idiots untill we are able to educate (both) our people that we are not so different at heart.
Inshallah, peace.

2:06 AM  
Blogger Salam Adil said...

The 555 reference is Iraqi humour at its best. Have you seen how the UIA posters seem to always show three imams. So I guess the list number represents the three ass holes that lead it.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Green Kokichi said...

Well, I wish I could believe you. If that is true, then why all the killings?

Now that Saddam is gone, why not get serious about putting the country back together, sharing the oil profits and starting to live normal, productive and happy lives?

Except for George Bush, I'm sure most Americans would like to leave Iraq as soon as possible, hopefully in one piece.

A wish for peace in the New Year!

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11:50 AM  

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